Hi, My Name Is Kris, and I’ve Never Seen Star Wars

There’s a couple of things I always have to explain when I first meet people and we end up on these subjects and it pains me to have justify them, so much so that I make it part of my introduction these days – and it usually goes a little something like this:

“Hi, my name is Kris, I don’t like cheese and I’ve never seen Star Wars.”

“What, any of them?”

“No, I don’t like any cheeses and I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars films.”

“But why?! What about cheddar? Brie? Return of the Jedi?

“No, no, no.”

Now I can easily explain the cheese – it’s my taste buds. I have no control over them, they have simply decided that rotting coagulated milk protein is not my idea of a good taste. So yes, the cheese boards at Christmas and the menu at Ask provides a bit of an obstacle for me, but I’ve learnt to live with it. I still can’t quite fathom people’s reaction to it, but it’s something I’m getting used to. In fact, I quite enjoy the inquisition as people attempt to reel off a list of exotic cheeses that I might just like. Star Wars, however, is a different ball game. How can I explain that I have never seen more than 5 minutes of the most iconic film saga of all time? How can I possibly understand the myriad of pop culture references that have peppered film and television since this film series ingrained itself into the fabric of modern society? How can I call myself a film fan? How dare I spend my Sunday afternoon’s and Bank Holiday Monday’s any other way? Well, truth is it hasn’t been easy, but I’ve avoided it for the simple fact that the idea of it does nothing for me. I’ve never been a big sci-fi fan – in fact I probably own more musicals than sci-fi films in my DVD collection – and the closest I’ve ever been to sci-fi is Alien, whose only connection to science fiction is that it’s set in space; other than that it’s an out-and-out horror film. I’m told you don’t need to like sci-fi in order to appreciate Star Wars as it encompasses so much but still, despite all of the proclamations of its life-changing abilities and universal appeal, I’ve never felt compelled to sit down and watch it. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I don’t think I’m missing out on anything. But we’ll see…

Star Wars

In 2015 – at some point – I will watch the complete Star Wars saga ahead of The Force Awakens. I will finally join the dizzying heights of true film buffs after I have soaked up all that this series has to offer. Along with the Star Wars films I will also be watching every film and TV boxset I have in my DVD collection that currently stands unopened. As I’ve mentioned briefly before, when I was young, single (hard to believe I know) and working I had the propensity to waste vast sums of money on pretty much any DVD that caught my eye in HMV and other reputable media outlets. I would purchase Empire and Total Film each month and through their recommendations I would collate a huge amount of DVDs to watch. These inevitably sat unopened on my DVD shelf and as more were purchased, more went unwatched. I was looking at them the other day and, with a wedding to pay for this year, I decided now is the right time to delve into this back catalogue of significant film entries of the past three decades and see what all the fuss was about. Including Star Wars.

My DVD Collection

I’ve set up a Letterboxd account and have listed on there all of the films that I need to watch in 2015. I’ll plough through them all in good time, as long as they are all watched in 2015. Along with that I’ll be posting 1-5 star ratings along with one paragraph reviews of each film. Some are complete tosh and it’ll be a pain to watch them, but the challenge is set. There are also some widely considered classics in there that might surprise some people that I haven’t seen – for one reason or another, some films just haven’t appealed to me. There are 134 films to get through as well as 27 TV boxsets so its safe to say I won’t be seeing much daylight this year. If you want to follow my progress you can check out my Letterboxd account here. Wish me luck. “Great kid. Don’t get cocky.” 


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